How does one explain a void? An absence? You know what, never mind, just read “House of Leaves” and then come back.
Welcome back. How can I describe a lack, a lurking fog which encapsulates the very essence of me? Of Myself? Myselfness? How do I tell you about the day Ian and I woke up with complete and total amnesia?
Well, it turns out it’s quite easy thanks to the power of language! Thanks, human genome!
First of all, EVERYTHING is surprising. Like, it’s all new, and all interesting. I spent twenty minutes excitedly examining our toilet paper dispenser. Once I realized it had no magical or ethereal properties I was pretty disappointed… but then I found my reflection. We had a fight. We had a fight, and, thanks to the fragility of glass and the ability of my blood to clot, I emerged victorious.
What kind of man was I? Who did people think I was, and how did others view me? I was the kind of man who would get in a fistfight with his own reflection, and basically people seemed to think I was the kind of person who would get in a fistfight with his own reflection. Not engage in pedestrian horn-tootery, but how many people do you know who are that true to themselves?
It’s true what they say, amnesia is very hard pill to swallow… I’m referring of course to the new experimental medication Amnesion™ which is both too large a pill, and now legal in 3 states.
Anyway, I did some investigating, and if my closet is any kind of gauge, I wear far too much black, and from what I can tell my eyes bear the price of rarely sleeping.
Mugs. There must have been a significance to the sheer amount of coffee mugs we own… it was a clue…it meant something.
Now this shield on the other hand? No explaination needed. TOTALLY. AWESOME.
Oh, when Ian woke up and realized he didn’t know who he was he just went back sleep. That’s how he deals with things.
We’re mostly better now, apart from forgetting the occasional… thing we forget. Honestly? The biggest relief also felt like the biggest betrayal: we are not actually married to each other.
Let this be a lesson to you, Faïka: don’t lie to amnesiacs; it is mawkish and cruel.
Maybe Chris, Possibly Ian